Bullying Epidemic?

[packerconvert]

All on this board have been subjected to bullying at one time or another.

I personally define bullying as extortion/intimidation through the threat of physical violence.

You'll get a chuckle out of this, but when my mother found out I was being bullied, she showed me no fail method of stopping it: A kick or knee to the groin and when they bent over in pain, a nice upper-cut to finish it off.

I never had to use it, though was prepared to in two later instances when I stood my ground and showed I was willing to stand up for myself. Which brings me to my actual point of this thread.

Is bullying as significant as the media is pushing?

I think there is a distinct difference between being bullied and having low self esteem to where you do not have the confidence to voice or act as you would like to in the face of someone else who may be more assertive/confident then you.

Just because you do not stand up for yourself does not mean you have been bullied, but many do connect low self esteem with being bullied.

Alluding back to my my mother, it wasn't the fighting that stopped the bullying, it was the confidence to stand up for myself that did.

Thoughts?

[TW]

I agree with what you said. But, in all honesty, low self esteem can open a person up to being bullied. In fact, it can lead to a complex that makes a person believe they deserve to be mistreated by others. It's a "victim" mentality.

The problem is, most people seem to want to equate bullying as being a physical thing. The larger alpha dominating and beating up the smaller person. Although that's one of the ways it happens, it's far from being the whole scope of the problem. It's minor compared to the whole of it.

My wife and I know a woman who is bullied by a man, without him ever having hit her, or doing anything physical to her. He's systematically verbally abused her, and convinced her she's useless, and can't think without him doing it for her. He also has her convinced that when he screws up, it's her fault, because she makes him "nervous."

She loves to complain about him to others, but she doesn't have enough hair on her ass to do anything about it. She's become a victim.

[happypacker]

I agree and know that being bullied is BOTH verbal and phy, when I was younger, like said here, i think we all get to be bullied one time at least in our life, the point is being smart enough with comment sense to know what to say or do with the attempted bully. Sometimes just standing up and letting them know they cannot get away with it will be enough. sometimes, you may also need to get into a fight to stop it, win or lose, many bullys will not go back to the person who stands up and fights, because that is hard work for the bully, they will more to another person that would not react in such a manner but give in to the bully.
NOW, (not years ago) it is much more complcated, why? because a bully now is much more thoughtless and even when faced with a person saying no way and even getting beat up by the person, the bully will then revert to a gun, a knife or posion, or others ways to be rid of or get what they want from the person they have little to no remorse or feelings to doing harm and going to jail..

many years ago, we as a whole did, and the very few always ended up in jail/ Today the numbers are much larger and they even result in a cult like group to get what they want.

[TW]

The reaction to bullies is what we're seeing happening with people who grab guns, and act out against others.

It's sad that we've gotten here, and part of the problem is that nothing is really done to bullies unless someone loses their life because of them.

We need to put them in a position where they end up finding out what it's all about, and end up being scared straight.

[Deleted]

If we are going to wait for the day when bullying no longer exists, there will be many more tragedies in the meantime. “Bullying” in some form occurs at all ages and stages of life, and one of the best things we can do for our children is to teach them how to deal with personal criticism and unfair treatment. That doesn’t mean we condone it or allow it to occur unchecked, but we cannot expect it to go away. The old adage “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” was not coined to suggest that words can’t be hurtful. The message was that those words can’t hurt me if I don’t let them. It was not a statement of fact, but a statement of determination.

We need to work at understanding what bullying is, and what it isn’t. It is the buzz word right now, and all of a sudden getting left off a birthday party invitation list or sitting alone at the lunch table are being reported as examples of bullying. Certainly, the child who lost his shoes and needed stitches has likely been bullied, but he has also been assaulted and robbed. Make no mistake, I heartily sympathize with these and any parents whose children are having such experiences, just as my own child has. It is genuinely scary and aggravating to a parent, and I don’t wish to minimize those feelings at all. Meanwhile, we now have students and parents crying “bullying” to the point it is blurring the issue, and that will not be helpful.

[TW]

I totally agree.

I had my own way of handling bullies.

One family of bullies ended up spending time in the ER. How bad were they? Three to four weeks after I beat the living hell out of the old man and his adult son, they were in a shoot out with the cops. Not over what happened with me, because they were scared to death I'd be back.

The second one ended up nearly being fed into a power mower. He was an adult bully who threatened to shoot my son. Scared the hell out of that guy so bad that he and his wife up and moved within 72 hours, and he was a mobster.

If anyone doesn't believe this, they can ask Doc to confirm both situations. Bullies piss me off!

[TW]

I forgot to mention.... I think it's the responsibility of the parents to stop their kids from being bullies.

If they don't, they need to pay the price.

[tnpackfan7]

Any reason you continue to bring stuff like this here earnest?
I have not talked about you here other than a response to your first wave of personal attacks.

I ask you to refrain from such behavior and try and be civil.

And I only have claimed to have run one marathon. Which I have. Got the medal and shirt to prove it. Was not a great day for me...but I finished it (and am getting ready to start my slow recovery and training to run my 2nd one in about a year here in Nashville).

I don't feel the need to lie to impress others. If I did...I would have said I ran much faster than I did last December.

[TW]

We started this board for people to get a fresh start, and enjoy posting. Some of us had disagreements with others, on other boards, but we learned to leave that at the door, and start fresh.

That's what we expect from our posters. Disagreements are totally understandable, but we want courtesy between posters. Giving opinions is fine, as long as we respect the right of the next person to having theirs as well.

A lot of us are refugees from the Packer Report board, and wanted a place where honest opinions, and differences were acceptable, as long as it was kept cordial.

[happypacker]

I GIVE YOU A PLUS ON THAT TW! the Packer report has really gone way down thanks to just three or 4 bad eggs. no fun over there at all anymore, that is why i love it here.

[townhalleditor]

I am glad Packer Report was brought up in this conversation and, suprisingly, PC's, err Earnest T.'s point has some validity, but I would take it a step further.

I agree that there are some people who do not speak up for themselves will claim they were bullied over someone else who is being assertive.

But if you go through and read the threads on this board, you will find another form of bullying and that is the claim of victimology. This victimology takes the form in statements of, "I am being personally attacked" or "I am a suffer from A, therefore B needs to be accepted by all. If you don't accept the behavior stemming from the action, then again, cries of victimology rise up.

Efforts to quiet opinions through pseudo-shaming is a type of psychological bullying that needs to be addressed mainly because it absolves the perpetrator of responsibility in his or her actions and lays the responsibility and the blame at the feet of a person merely expressing their own opinion and/or standing up for themselves in the face of being bullied. JMHO.

The last paragraph is very much what happened at Packer Report, and still does. Everyone is under the thumb of the overseer over there and if you come into conflict or disagreement with said overseer, you were censured or bounced. Result: You have watered down, intellectually dishonest debates.

[TW]

Wh....what?

[TW]

I'm letting my "inner- Andy" come out!

[packerconvert]

M.R.E.T.'s a victim a gain. Go figure.